(A doctor enters the examination with a grim look on his face.)
Mr. Jones: What is it doc? Your face is not giving me confidence!
Doctor: Mr. Jones, I’m sorry to tell you…
Mr. Jones: What is it? What is it?!!?
Doctor: If you don’t take your wife on a romantic date you’ll be dead by the end of the year!
[32 ] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that [marriage] refers to Christ and the church. [33 ] However, let each [husband] love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. -Ephesians 5 (ESV)
I have noticed something special happens when I talk with people who have accomplished a great goal in their life. It is usually something similar to this sentiment—“I am so glad I did it!”
Talk to the man or woman who has lost a significant amount of weight after being told by the doctor that failing to do so was going to lead to an earlier end of life expectancy. They battled and struggled to embrace a new lifestyle. I’ve met people who needed to make drastic changes in order to accomplish weight loss. Yes, they admit missing their old midnight snack of a frozen pizza or a bag of chips and eating dessert with every meal. However, when they get to the goal weight…THEY BEAM WITH ACCOMPLISHMENT AND PRIDE! THEY GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY FEEL. THERE IS CONFIDENCE IN BEING A PART OF NEW ACTIVITIES LIKE CYCLING OR SWIMMING LAPS OR WALKING AROUND THE MALL WITHOUT GETTING WINDED.
Think of the person who desires a college education after life had a way of throwing their dream off track and college was not a possibility until they were in their thirties or forites. Nothing better than hearing that person talk about getting that degree. Was it hard? You bet! It had been years since they were in school. Reading was something they did for their kids and the choices were Mickey Mouse or Snow White. Algebra! Western Civilization! Philosophy! The struggle was great but the accomplishment was better.
Most people who have done these things take a look at their life or circumstances and recognize that something needs to be different. Sometimes it is something internal driving them for a change. Sometimes it is external from a proclamation by a doctor or manager. Some folks take a long time to finally make THE decision to go for it. Dieters have many missteps until they finally get the big weight loss. Some adults have some misfires until they finally get the degree.
Honestly, if they new it would have felt so great, they would have done it sooner. "I don't know why I waited so long1"
I think that is true of how we look at our marriages. It is easy to get content with the way things are but honestly, things never stay the same. There always tends to be a drift away from health. Couples wake up and wonder what happened to that person they were so in love with years ago. Sometimes it is habit. Sometimes it is a difficult circumstance. Sometimes it has been a series of heartbreaks or lost dreams. Sometimes it began with one night of not making things right after a fight. Sometimes it started with turning on the television rather than asking, “How was your day?”
One question: How would it feel to have the kind of marriage that blew your socks off? To think to yourself, “I can’t wait to get home tonight and be with my spouse!”
Another question: is there one thing you could do or say today that might take you on that journey?